Evaluation of Norwegian role in Lankan peace process: Solheim
June 26, 2010, 7:20 pm
‘Manik de Silva reporting from Oslo
An independent evaluation of Norway’s role in Sri Lanka’s peace process is being undertaken to determine what aspects of it was good and what was bad to draw lessons from that experience, Norway’s International Development Minister Erik Solheim told a group of Sri Lankan journalists in Oslo on Friday.
Meeting the visitors in the foreign ministry here, Solheim who spoke on the record confirmed speaking on the telephone to the KP (Kumaran Pathmanathan) ``many times’’ and also to Pulidevan and Nadesan. He had called for an organized end to the fighting that ``would have saved thousands of lives’’ but this call had been ``unfortunately rejected’’ by the LTTE. Representatives of the UN had also spoken to Prabhakaran, Solheim who indicated Norwegian support for the UN investigation panel said.
``There is only one way forward – not to go back to any form of violence,’’ he declared. He said the call from Pulidevan and Nadesan to organize a surrender came ``far too late.’’ They had been told ``if you want to surrender raise a white flag.’’ That had been clearly indicated.
It was not only Norway that had said so Solheim revealed, but he declined to identify other parties who had done so.
Relaxed and friendly, the Norwegian minister remarked that this was the first time he had addressed as large a group of 20 Sri Lankan journalists comprising Sinhalese, Tamils and a Muslim. He welcomed the group warmly.
Although officials of the foreign ministry were present at the press conference, Solheim fielded all questions ducking none during the 30-minute meeting.
He indicated that the TNA had an important role to play in emerging events, pointing out that it was Tamils in Sri Lanka rather than those outside who must play a decisive role.
``The Tamils in Sri Lanka should be the real decision makers,’’ he said.
He saw great potential in Sri Lanka and urged that the opportunities provided by the dawn of peace be seized to maximum advantage. Peace was a pre-condition for economic development, he said asserting that Norway, one of Sri Lanka’s oldest development partners, will continue to be a partner in that process.
``Sri Lanka is a paradise island, not just the land (physically) but also the people. The opportunities (for the country) are enormous and you must make the most of them,’’ he said.
Responding to a question on whether he regarded the bad press both Norway and he personally had received in Sri Lanka, Solheim laughingly answered ``yes.’’ He acknowledged that there should be free criticism but there had been some ``black lies.’’
He said that Norway assumed the role of peace facilitator at President Chandrika Kumaratunga’s request as well as that of (then) Prime Minister Ranil Wickremesinghe and LTTE leader Velupillai Prabhakaran.
President Mahinda Rajapaksa, having overwhelmingly won the war and thereafter the elections, will be the country’s main decision taker in the foreseeable future. There have been different opinions on how to achieve peace. Rapid economic development and economic growth were necessary. Peace is a pre-condition for economic growth.
Asked whether Norway had any further role to play in Sri Lanka, he said there was no particular role, nor any request to do so. Relations would be normal and Norway will remain a partner in economic development.
There was a large Sri Lankan population living in Norway, mostly Tamils and also some Sinhalese. Senior Norwegian officials indicated that the Lankans living there worked hard and their children were doing well in school – often better than Norwegians.
Solheim said that all Lankans wanted lasting peace. There was broad international support for Tamil rights and no support for war.
ISLAND.LK
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Every man needs a woman to motivate him and to give him a reason to live..!!!
FW: Love story of Narayana Murthy of Infosystems
Fra: Lalitha Brodie (lalitha.brodie7@hotmail.com)
Sendt: 24. juni 2010 05:33:22
Date: Wed, 23 Jun 2010 06:00:50 -0700
From: noelv@rogers.com
Subject: Love story of Narayana Murthy of Infosystems
To: noelv@rogers.com
Subject:: Love story of Narayana Murthy
v
Sudha
An excellent and Great Love Story of Narayana Murthy (Infosys Founder) and Sudha (From Sudha's Autobiography) - pls dont miss it
An Inspiring Love story
Love Story of Narayana Murthy (Infosys Founder) and Sudha (From Sudha's Autobiography)
It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murty through my friend Prasanna who is now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco(TataMotors) . Most of the books that Prasanna lent me had Murty's name on them which meant that I had a preconceived image of the man. Contrary to expectation, Murty was shy,bespectacled and an introvert. When he invited us for dinner. I was a bit taken aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murty was relentless and we all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m .. at Green Fields hotel on the Main Road ,Pune.
The next day I went there at 7' o ! clock since I had to go to the tailor near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murty waiting in front of the hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murty maintains that I had mentioned (consciously! ) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could meet him... And I maintain that I did not say any such thing consciously or unconsciously because I did not think of Murty as anything other than a friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this matter.
Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murty's experiences abroad and the books that he has read. My friends insisted that Murty as trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murty said, I want to tell you something. I knew this as it. It was coming. He said, I am 5'4" tall. I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my life an! d I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? I asked Murty to give me some time for an answer. My father didn't want me to marry a wannabe politician, (a communist at that) who didn't have a steady job and wanted to build an orphanage...
When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murty and his proposal. My mother was positive since Murty was also from Karnataka, seemed intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father asked: What's his job, his salary, his qualifications etc? Murty was working as a research assistant and was earning less than me. He was willing to go dutch with me on our outings. My parents agreed to meet Murty in Pune on a particular day at10 a. m sharp. Murty did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment, asked my father.
At 12noon Murty turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone on work to Bombay , was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a taxi(though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be father-in-law. Father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life.
Murty said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and wanted to open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. NO. I don't want my daughter to marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage when he himself didn't have money to support his family.
Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages something, which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a liking towards Murty which could only be termed as love. I wanted to marry Murty because he is an honest man. He proposed to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father that I will not marry Murty without his blessings though at the same time, I cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if Murty promised to take up a steady job. But Murty refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted him to. So, I was caught between the two most important people in my life.
The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murty was always broke. Moreover, he didn't earn much to manage. Ironically today, he manages Infosys Technologies Ltd., one of the world's most reputed companies. He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he would say, I don't have money with me, you pay my share, I will return it to you later. For three years I maintained a book on Murty's debt to me.. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after my wedding.
The amount was a little over Rs 4000. During this interim period Murty quit his job as research assistant and started his own software business. Now, I had to pay his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering India in a big way.
During the fag end of 1977 Murty decided to take up a job as General Manager at Patni computers in Bombay .. But before he joined the company he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murty had a decent job, now.
WE WERE MARRIED IN MURTY'S HOUSE IN BANGALORE ON FEBRUARY 10, 1978 WITH ONLY OUR TWO FAMILIES PRESENT.I GOT MY FIRST SILK SARI. THE WEDDING EXPENSES CAME TO ONLY RS 800 (US $17) WITH MURTY AND I POOLING IN RS 400 EACH..
I went to the US with Murty after marriage. Murty encouraged me to see America on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain fresh in my mind forever. Like the time when the New York police took me into custody because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem . Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with an old couple. Murty panicked because he couldn't get a response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either killed or kidnapped.
IN 1981 MURTY WANTED TO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND ZERO CAPITAL...initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting into business. We did not have any business background ... Moreover we were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I didn't want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about creating good quality software. I decided to support him. Typical of Murty, he just had a dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it. I give you three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the
financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you
have only three years!
Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981,with enormous interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murty. We bought a small house on loan which also became the Infosys office. I was a clerk-cum-cook- cum-programmer. I also took up a job as Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house.
In 1983 Infosys got their first client, MICO, in Bangalore . Murty moved to Bangalore and stayed with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was born, Murty left for the US on project work. I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join Murty in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was only after Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented a small house in Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys headquarters. My father
presented Murty a scooter to commute. I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk,
secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote programs for Infosys. There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch of us working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other partners too who gave their unstinted support. We all knew that our men were trying to build something good.
It was like a big joint family,taking care and looking out for one another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us. Murty made it very clear that it would either be me or him working at Infosys. Never the two of us together... I was involved with Infosys initially.
Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on the Board but Murty said he did not want a husband and wife team at Infosys. I was shocked since I had the relevant experience and technical qualifications. He said, Sudha if you want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was pained to know that I will not be involved in the company my husband was building and that I would have to give up a job that I am qualified to do and love doing.
It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murty's request..I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give one's 100 percent. One had to be focussed on it alone with no other distractions. If the two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to our home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the other took care of Infosys.
I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murty's dream. It was a big sacrifice but it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murty says, Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible for my success.
That's the Power of Love.
Every man needs a woman to motivate him and to give him a reason to live....
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The very basic principle of unity and wealth creation...!!!
On Mon, May 24, 2010 at 7:25 PM, worldclasstamil.com Moderator wrote:
HEADSTRONG
Just over a century ago, millions of bison roamed the west. Herds numbering in the tens of thousands would follow the lead bull across the vast prairie and through rugged mountain passes. For in the animal kingdom, the most powerful animal leads. His determination blazes a trail for the all to follow.
Among the humans, that head strong man has to set the path for the others to follow. It is not the physical path but the moral one for man is an animal with the mind of morals. For Tamils, we have come up with a set of morals that will lighten up our milestones to freedom and prosperity.
Every human needs freedom to pursue his or her own natural desires within an organised community. Did the Tamils ever have unity or a leader who is willing to bring all people together? Nay. So after struggling for more than 2500 years here we have an opportunity and a dire need to find a common leadership protocol.
The TGTE and GTF are a just another distraction to our direction. When did the Jewish people unite? When they were about to be wiped out. Not only they united but they got the moral world behind them. They produced some fantastic men in science, technology and in every known field.
How can there be division among Tamil when we all face the same fate of destruction and obliteration? It is our lack of maturity? Or is it our greed that is blinding our faith. When will we discover that we need a community?
As it is, the community is in total disarray here among Diaspora and there in our motherland. So then the Jewish people came up with a set of rules for the Jewish people to follow. Why don’t we come up with a set of rules to follow? Man cannot lead man but the morals and especially the Tamils are like horses, not donkeys or even mules.
We as a race has to change from inward looking selfish people to outward looking community people. When will fish discover water? When will Tamils discover community? If not now, we will never. The TGTE and GTF must come together and reached out to the Tamil with a common agenda instead of selfish and partisan politics.
Guaranteed it is, the moment we see any prostitution of policies we will ask the resident governments to proscribe them. In Canada Criminal code 83 has listed several Tamil organizations as terrorist organization; all they have to do is just add TGTE and GTF. Hope they don’t let that happen. If any Tamil is innocently ignorant about the laws of the land, they must seek out the knowledge. Ignorance of the law is no excuse
Do you want that to happen then behave the way you are or else come up with a unified focussed plan to bring all Tamil people together? What we need are well defined objectives that will fit everyone. The objective is a nation for the Tamils and then let us work out a plan and then follow the plan.
Hard and diligent work has brought us this far but if we unite we can go further.
1+1 = >2
The very basic principle of unity and wealth creation.
HEADSTRONG
Just over a century ago, millions of bison roamed the west. Herds numbering in the tens of thousands would follow the lead bull across the vast prairie and through rugged mountain passes. For in the animal kingdom, the most powerful animal leads. His determination blazes a trail for the all to follow.
Among the humans, that head strong man has to set the path for the others to follow. It is not the physical path but the moral one for man is an animal with the mind of morals. For Tamils, we have come up with a set of morals that will lighten up our milestones to freedom and prosperity.
Every human needs freedom to pursue his or her own natural desires within an organised community. Did the Tamils ever have unity or a leader who is willing to bring all people together? Nay. So after struggling for more than 2500 years here we have an opportunity and a dire need to find a common leadership protocol.
The TGTE and GTF are a just another distraction to our direction. When did the Jewish people unite? When they were about to be wiped out. Not only they united but they got the moral world behind them. They produced some fantastic men in science, technology and in every known field.
How can there be division among Tamil when we all face the same fate of destruction and obliteration? It is our lack of maturity? Or is it our greed that is blinding our faith. When will we discover that we need a community?
As it is, the community is in total disarray here among Diaspora and there in our motherland. So then the Jewish people came up with a set of rules for the Jewish people to follow. Why don’t we come up with a set of rules to follow? Man cannot lead man but the morals and especially the Tamils are like horses, not donkeys or even mules.
We as a race has to change from inward looking selfish people to outward looking community people. When will fish discover water? When will Tamils discover community? If not now, we will never. The TGTE and GTF must come together and reached out to the Tamil with a common agenda instead of selfish and partisan politics.
Guaranteed it is, the moment we see any prostitution of policies we will ask the resident governments to proscribe them. In Canada Criminal code 83 has listed several Tamil organizations as terrorist organization; all they have to do is just add TGTE and GTF. Hope they don’t let that happen. If any Tamil is innocently ignorant about the laws of the land, they must seek out the knowledge. Ignorance of the law is no excuse
Do you want that to happen then behave the way you are or else come up with a unified focussed plan to bring all Tamil people together? What we need are well defined objectives that will fit everyone. The objective is a nation for the Tamils and then let us work out a plan and then follow the plan.
Hard and diligent work has brought us this far but if we unite we can go further.
1+1 = >2
The very basic principle of unity and wealth creation.
Monday, May 17, 2010
LET US PUT TAMIL MARK OF EXCELLENCE IN WHATEVER WE DO..!!!
worldclasstamil.com Moderator to Massey
LET US PUT TAMIL MARK OF EXCELLENCE IN WHATEVER WE DO
TGTE and GTF must operate with extreme integrity and absolute transparency. Tamil people are becoming nervous and disappointed because of some irregularities in the way affairs are conducted. It is in no way compatible with our Nature and Culture. I hope the "elected" members of the Tamil parliament maintain absolute Honesty, Intergrity, Trust and Responsibility. You must because the regulators of resident countries will knock on your doors, and we will too. But we are with you.
Tamil culture is an exacting and error free culture. We feel it in our daily chores of conducting our lives. It is this nature that has pitted us against our neighbours who are merely approximate cultures.
Life as given to us is a serious business of managing every moment of our lives. One friend quipped that we are born with that faculty of knowing what is right and what is wrong but we are clouded with our ego, avarice, ambition and vanity. If we know that our life will end one day and whatever we have acquired through these faulty and flaky means will only benefit the world. I called to talk to my brother to inquire about his health and he is asking about the health of my business. I hope you got the point.
I am fortunate that I have picked up somewhere along my life that service to humanity is our only vocation, so I run my business to help my associates, customers, supplier and the society at large. I am in perfect health because Mother Nature wants me to be alive to serve more. Got the point people.
Let’s go back to Jaffna, the Jerusalem of the East and the Garden of Eden. Why do I keep calling this city by divine names, because the world must come to grip with the fact the seminal source of universal cornucopia is in trouble and no one wants to help rescue it. I hope the world powers will come to grip with this prophesy (cy).
But We Tamils have to reform our inner qualities from a grabbing culture to giving culture. When our generation grew up our parent taught us the thought of tithing.
That is one tenth of what you make you give away. We receive in proportion to what we give. At work we get paid for what work for. Work first pay later. And the people who gave more than what they get paid end up with the cornucopia, fountain of never ending wealth.
God has given me so much of time that sometimes I do not know what to do with it, so I found a vocation to reclaim the lost Tamil heritage, when we reclaim our heritage the whole world will benefit the way the Jews benefited the world. Instead of blaming others for our misfortune let us look within us to see where we prostituted our heritage.
Therefore our request to GTF and TGTE is to live up to our heritage of care and creativity. When we produce more than we need we build a better world. That is the world we have to build in South Asia. We have been endowed with an opportunity to spread among various cultures to refine our culture. Let’s do it.
I have send as an attachment 28 commandments for Tamils to live by, if some of you can improve, add or edit it, we will be very much thankful. We hope to distribute this to Tamil people worldwide.
MY COMMITMENTS TO MY PEOPLE.doc
LET US PUT TAMIL MARK OF EXCELLENCE IN WHATEVER WE DO
TGTE and GTF must operate with extreme integrity and absolute transparency. Tamil people are becoming nervous and disappointed because of some irregularities in the way affairs are conducted. It is in no way compatible with our Nature and Culture. I hope the "elected" members of the Tamil parliament maintain absolute Honesty, Intergrity, Trust and Responsibility. You must because the regulators of resident countries will knock on your doors, and we will too. But we are with you.
Tamil culture is an exacting and error free culture. We feel it in our daily chores of conducting our lives. It is this nature that has pitted us against our neighbours who are merely approximate cultures.
Life as given to us is a serious business of managing every moment of our lives. One friend quipped that we are born with that faculty of knowing what is right and what is wrong but we are clouded with our ego, avarice, ambition and vanity. If we know that our life will end one day and whatever we have acquired through these faulty and flaky means will only benefit the world. I called to talk to my brother to inquire about his health and he is asking about the health of my business. I hope you got the point.
I am fortunate that I have picked up somewhere along my life that service to humanity is our only vocation, so I run my business to help my associates, customers, supplier and the society at large. I am in perfect health because Mother Nature wants me to be alive to serve more. Got the point people.
Let’s go back to Jaffna, the Jerusalem of the East and the Garden of Eden. Why do I keep calling this city by divine names, because the world must come to grip with the fact the seminal source of universal cornucopia is in trouble and no one wants to help rescue it. I hope the world powers will come to grip with this prophesy (cy).
But We Tamils have to reform our inner qualities from a grabbing culture to giving culture. When our generation grew up our parent taught us the thought of tithing.
That is one tenth of what you make you give away. We receive in proportion to what we give. At work we get paid for what work for. Work first pay later. And the people who gave more than what they get paid end up with the cornucopia, fountain of never ending wealth.
God has given me so much of time that sometimes I do not know what to do with it, so I found a vocation to reclaim the lost Tamil heritage, when we reclaim our heritage the whole world will benefit the way the Jews benefited the world. Instead of blaming others for our misfortune let us look within us to see where we prostituted our heritage.
Therefore our request to GTF and TGTE is to live up to our heritage of care and creativity. When we produce more than we need we build a better world. That is the world we have to build in South Asia. We have been endowed with an opportunity to spread among various cultures to refine our culture. Let’s do it.
I have send as an attachment 28 commandments for Tamils to live by, if some of you can improve, add or edit it, we will be very much thankful. We hope to distribute this to Tamil people worldwide.
MY COMMITMENTS TO MY PEOPLE.doc
Sunday, May 16, 2010
MY COMMITMENTS TO MY PEOPLE...!!!
worldclasstamil.com Moderator to Massey
MY COMMITMENTS TO MY PEOPLE
Or Lifting Tamil Tide Everywhere.
After 50 years of contemplation I have come to the conclusion that I as a Tamil l have failed in my commitments to my people and our people. I have procrastinated my duty to my community. I kept blaming others for having not done much to protect and promote my community. I finally realized I have not done anything to my community. Therefore I decided to present this disclosure to my people, though not complete it is good beginning. I hope some one will improve it and make it better. I was very much disturbed and perturbed by the amount of division and dissidence among my people. So I came to a conclusion that I must make a list of commitments for each of us to our community. It is not a complete list.
A Tamil is a world-class citizen; therefore we must live up to world class standard. There is no question or qualm about it. We were the inventors of the catamaran and the constant flame lamp and so many other inventions. Do you know that a Tamil invented the free energy phenomena? So with all these cleverness and astuteness why are we divided? Competition is different from division. So we must not be confused. There is no need to go into details but you know the biggest challenge the Tamils face is not aggression from barbarians, but lack of unity among us. So I have decided to give every Tamil a gift, gift that will improve our overall standing in the world community, prosperity and survivability. Every beehive needs a queen; we need leader who can hold us together. The leader must be able to bring all diverse ideas and cross-fertilize them into to each faction for combined improvement. Today leaders are written proclamations, these are alive; we commit and obey to a written set of proclamations called articles of association or a constitution. Here are a few proclamations. Though we are educated we are less experienced. Education combined with experience makes us confident people.
1. ALWAYS STAND UNITED
Unity is strength and strength in unity. Every Tamil must be united under any condition. It is the survival technique. The power of unity has to be comprehended exponentially and geometrically. One plus one is not two, much more than two! So by staying united we generate enormous amount of power. Power to sustain our great culture and heritage. There is a great need for us to get united and stay united. Please don’t complain but explain to your fellow Tamil the concept unity and strength. If ten pigeons through unison were able to escape the snare by the hunter why cannot we escape our grip of our selfishness and greed?
2. ALWAYS ASSIST
We are not all born with either equal talent or do we have identical talents, but we are all talented. Our culture insists on perfection, which is attainable and admirable. Once I was asked which is the greatest, harnessing the power of the universe or harnessing the universe is power. You know the answer. We educate our children, we culture them well and we make them to work diligently. I have worked with other cultures but there is one character that is outstanding in a Tamil. Loyalty. This is something that is hard for other cultures to understand. But we have it! Aren’t you proud that you are a Tamil? With this greatness why are we divided? Is it for money or for fame? Whatever you earn is for your children, it does not matter good or bad. So assist another Tamil in need. We are divided because we lack trust. Loyalty is great but trust is the greatest!
3. ALWAYS STAND
Always stand up for your cause. You will wither away if you have no identity. Every one has culture with which they identify themselves. You are a Tamil, one of the oldest cultures in the universe. Money can be earned, education can learned but once you lose your culture you are a sheep without a Shepard. Culture is not something you can learn, it is thousand of years of refinement, and it has to come from generation after generation of refinement. A culture is a time-tested system. You cannot just throw it away.
4. EDUCATE MY FELLOW TAMIL
As you aware there is a planned genocide going on in our motherland. We have been taken from our mother’s womb and thrown into disarray, why? Because we are not united. Do not blame anyone, blame yourself, and blame us. We are the cause of our own destruction, dispersal and Diaspora. Always remember the worst animal is a human animal because it has the ability to think.
5. SERVICE
Ask yourself what have I done to my community lately? Did you help an innocent caught in the snare? Snare of ignorance. Have you collected any donation for the hospital or for some social event? Did you ever donate a dime for the needy? Have you ever helped a desperate person on the street? Have you helped a child to cross the street? Failing all what did you do today to make your life better? When you make it better for yourself you make is better for all. Sounds philosophical, no sir, it has the universal law kicks in and bring forth goodness for all. So at least do something good for yourself.
6. HELP EACH OTHER AND THE COMMUNITY
When two of us whole-heartedly work together there is scintillation. We are not all knowing and all capable. We are all created equally but differently hence I teach you what I know, you teach me what you know and we have produced four from two. You had one I gave you one so I got two, then I gave you one and you had one so you got two. Two plus two is four. That is not rocket science! So always help each other and learn from each other. So if you take the whole community of people you have created a chain reaction of exponential out burst of creativity.
7. TRUST
What is trust? It is the ability to rely on some one. Trust is like a bank account, we call it moral trust account. There are two sides to it. A debit and A credit. Trustworthiness and trustfulness. How trustworthy are you? How trustful are you? If you are trustworthy then you are trustful. You are trustworthy to the extent you are trustful; one cannot exist without the other. Trust is responsibility, a huge task. One has to behave responsibly is their affairs. Always remember never to betray ones trust in you, it is a sacred faith. Great nations and great cultures and civilizations have great capacity for Trust. Tamils must learn to trust each other and others. Trust is double entry moral account when you give you don’t lose you gain something else and the book is balanced at every act and deed.
8. DISPEL FEAR
I understand fear and the source of fear. Fear is the most important state of mind we have to overcome. Fear of life, fear of loss, fear of disgrace etc. Fear is a residual effect of the jungle path where we saw how animals sought food; Food to survive.
In modern democracies fear has been taken away and replaced by security hence a child can live fear free from an abusive parent or women from an abusive husband or a worker can perform his duty without the fear of an abusive boss, or a citizen can live fear free from an abusive government. How do you dispel fear? Just ask the question what is the worst that could happen to me? If it is loss of life or loss of health, yes I have to be prudent. Loss of money, religion, language, culture, I can always get it back. Be ready accept a little bruise to your ego. Loss of ego, that is good for you.
9. CONFLICT OF INTEREST
In my dealings with my people I will always resolve any conflicts through dialogue and discussion. I will never undermine my own people for it will undermine the whole community and me. Conflicts are merely difference in opinion or relative understanding about the issue hence through genuine dialogue we can arrive at absolute solutions. There is no room for emotions. Conflicts are a source to growth not a source to violence. Violence has no place in modern society.
10. CONTRIBUTE
I will contribute my knowledge and what ever assets I can to the development of my people. It is the combined total knowledge of the individuals past and present that brought society to this level of attainment. Therefore the contribution of each member of the community is important. It can be selfish or selfless but as long as it is not destructive. Individual greed may not be good in the initial stages but beyond a certain level all greed benefits the society. A man in his selfish greed may create, discover or invent something that will permeate the nooks and corners of even the remotest part of the society.
11. NEVER EVER BETRAY
Trust is a sacred gift given to all of us. Therefore when some one trusts you with a property, person or position maintain it as a sacred possession. Ever since man left the cave and wandered the jungle he was apprehensive of the challenges he faced. Trust was a very rare commodity! But through ages and years of struggle and experience we have developed certain amount of trust but not absolute trust. There are in these world societies with low level of trust and societies with high levels of trust. The trust level has a bearing on relative peace and harmony and hence on economic prosperity.
12. MAKE A VOCATION
A vocation is a must for every one. As a Tamil you are not going to be an indolent, laggard or lazy. You will always seek a vocation even it is a volunteer service. We set an example and pathways for our generations to come by we take our own pathway to prosperity. I know that the cause of social strife is due to lack and poverty. There are many countries and societies caught up in this struggle to identify the cause of social disharmony. The kings with the sword and priest have fooled mankind with superstition for a long time. Man was conditioned to become racial, religiously fanatic and linguistically monotypic, thus forgetting the very purpose of life. The first requirement of life is food. How stupid we can get by killing ourselves for external nonessentials such as race, religion and language. Therefore do not stray from the first purpose of life is to put food on the table. If you don’t agree all you have to do is to go for one day without any food and your brain will shift from you head to the stomach. If you still don’t believe go on without food till you feel the need.
Go to work every day and all your problems will disappear.
13. COMMUNICATE
I shall at all times communicate with every man, woman and child in my and any community with respect and equality. I understand the importance of open communication with my community and other communities. I will make every effort to protect those naïve and innocent people from being abused by the insecure and the inferior. Control and manipulation are the behaviour of the insecure, the ignorant and the inferior. It is my duty to inform the naïve and nasty that negative behaviour is the manifestations of insecurity and the best way to overcome insecurity is through open communication, transparency and thorough understanding.
14. EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN AND YOURSELF
Life is an education in progress, school education is different. It merely introduces you to knowledge and mostly to get job. Continuous improvement should be the standard. Ultimately how much you know is much more important than whom you know.
Besides knowledge, experience and hence wisdom is portable, it goes where you go and also increases as you give it out. More you give more you get, that is called cornucopia.
15. SEE FIVE GENERATION
Longer you live better your family will do and hence your community. There is a saying that a man must see 5 generation. Great grandparent, Grandparent, Parent, Children and Grand children. Longer you live more experience you retain and more you future generation benefit. They say first 30 years you learn, next thirty years you experiment, next thirty years you live. So a man must live through at least 3 generation.
16. REMEMBER
I will always remember how some selected community of people treated my community and me. We as a community were abused, chased, property looted or misappropriated and were made orphans, destitute and refugees in our own motherland. We were targeted and systematically discriminated and then finally forced to leave our motherland. Our homes, farms and factories were destroyed to deny us any economic well-being. Our heritages, libraries and schools were bombed and destroyed. We were called terrorists when we were merely trying to protect our lives and livelihood. I will ensure that this will never happen to us and we also will not deny any other community of their rights to life.
17. DEVELOP
Develop your faculties, develop your capabilities, and develop all that is needed to make you a fully formed person. Continuously engage in life giving activity, do not learn to cheat, steal or misappropriate. You are as capable as another so why steal or cheat, why not share what you have for what you don’t have? It is a bargain. The modern society depends on it and function on it we call it trade.
18. PEACE AND HARMONY
Peace and Harmony are two powerful resources. There is enormous power when one is peaceful and harmonious. Our mind, brain and body function very profitably when
they are at peace with each other. I will always seek a peaceful means to end an impasse. I understand that in my own self-interest I yield to my enemy for if I waste my energy on countering the enemy our creativity is compromised. There are no enemies in this universe.
19. DETERENCE
Though I am willing to negotiate, share and live in harmony, I shall not negotiate out of fear or as a vindicated, but at times I may do so as an act of prudence. I will maintain enough deterrence Intellectually, Economically, and Socially to negotiate to a mutually beneficial outcome. All conflicts and confrontations are the result of fear, envy, anger, self-righteousness, inferiority, superiority and false beliefs. Therefore I will continuously continue to enter into dialogue and discussion with my apparent and perceived enemy, I do not have enemies.
20. .SOCIAL CAPITAL
What is social capital? Social capital is the resource generated as a result of unity. How many times you would have experienced that one plus one is more than two. Numbers were invented keep score not to quantify human association. Larger the number higher the social capital score will be. Our prosperity depends on a social capital trust. We can achieve tremendous results as a result of communion. Have you noticed when people are on a fully agreed endeavour there are outbursts of creative defying the established laws of mathematics and physics?
21. POLITICAL CAPITAL
What is political capital? Simple when you raise an issue by yourself not much attention is given. It is discounted as a one-person selfish motive, but when a community of people raise and issue, it got power. This is again political capital trust. We have to identify our political needs and arrive at a unanimous decision, which will have tremendous implications positively. Every person must give in his or her personal selfish motives to a common body and create a body politic which will give out more rights and power than you give in. This again defies the known laws of mathematics. It functions exponentially.
22. MIND YOUR HEALTH
Health is the ultimate wealth. If you don’t have good health you cannot participate in life. Take cars of it. The modern medicine has extended our life span beyond 100 years. So plan your life for 100 years or more.
23 LEAVE A LEGACY
We are all created equally but differently. So each of us have some inherent gift given to us by the universe, our parents. So then each of us are capable of marvelous creations, inventions and discoveries, which we can give to the society at large. What have you done to your people? How have you enriched your people? Your foreparents left an excellent world behind for you to live a peaceful and harmonious life, and then what are you hoping to leave behind. Be conscious about your world and be courteous to it.
24. DEVELOP DETERRENCE
Today small group of people can be subdued easily either by force or by majority. So, as a Tamil you must develop your intellect, your economic capability your moral standards. Like Luxmi and Saraswathy you must develop and improve your wealth and wisdom. One without other will never survive. When you are intellectually and financially strong you can protect your community.
25. DEVELOP KNOWLEDGE
I wrote once more you know, more you know how little you know. How true is it? Once the head of the patents and copy right office told that what ever has to be invented has been invented. I think that was in the 19th century. Since then we have invented Electricity, Computers, memory chips, cure for many diseases, airplane etc. Therefore there is no end to knowledge and creations, inventions and discoveries. There are many more things to invent and discover, one of them is free energy, somewhere in the universe there is free energy and all we have to do is to discover it. A political means whereby all people are equal is some thing we have to create.
As we pass on the mantle it is the people coming after us have to carry forward the world. Do not destroy it! I have known a handful of educated destroyers of society don’t be one of them.
26. LEAD THE NEXT GENERATION
There is new thinking that lets enjoy life for we will be dead tomorrow. You may be dead but the world will go on. But then where did you get the means to enjoy your life? Your parents left it for you, so what are you going to leave for your children. If you don’t, you will be reborn to pay for your sins. How does that principle sound to you? We call it Karma or the law of retribution. So get down to nation building and social, economic and political infrastructure building, you may get lucky to enjoy your own efforts in this life!
27. CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS AN INVINCIBLE WEAPON.
Please remember that when you were created you were given a set of basic principles to live by. You are born good but transformed by nature and surroundings. There is saying called let you conscience be your own judge. You know what is good, what is bad and what is ugly. No one has to tell you, you know it from inside. A simple example is littering, you know it is bad then why do you do it? Another simple example is if you steal it is wrong, then why do you do it? You know the problem is the one who lost is lost for once but you have to carry the burden of guilt forever!
Never ever knowingly do any bad to any one, if by innocence you have done it, say I made a mistake ask for forgiveness and proceed with your life. I do not carry it in your mind forever!
These are some of the commitments I live by, if you know some that I have omitted please add them on and pass it on to others. We have an urgent need to do this to preserve our identity otherwise we will become extinct instead of distinguished. We will just be another remark in history! Therefore I urgently and earnestly request every Tamil to come together and build our culture and heritage worldwide. We must not do this at the expense any other culture but must extend our greatness to other cultures.
28. INVENT
We all know Late Sir Albert Einstein. Jewish people are today living in the safety one man invented for them. For 2500 years Jewish people wandered all over the world for being honest hard working people. It always happens to the people who stick out as outstanding. As they say the nail that hammered is the one that stands out. When the Indian military came to Jaffna they could not believe that we had stone built homes, own water supply and excellent schools. We did not steal from others; we built them with our own effort and ingenuity. We invented the sea going catamaran some ten thousand years ago. We will be the one who will invent the phenomenon of free energy. Encourage your children to be inventive and one day some day
the next Einstein may come.
MY COMMITMENTS TO MY PEOPLE
Or Lifting Tamil Tide Everywhere.
After 50 years of contemplation I have come to the conclusion that I as a Tamil l have failed in my commitments to my people and our people. I have procrastinated my duty to my community. I kept blaming others for having not done much to protect and promote my community. I finally realized I have not done anything to my community. Therefore I decided to present this disclosure to my people, though not complete it is good beginning. I hope some one will improve it and make it better. I was very much disturbed and perturbed by the amount of division and dissidence among my people. So I came to a conclusion that I must make a list of commitments for each of us to our community. It is not a complete list.
A Tamil is a world-class citizen; therefore we must live up to world class standard. There is no question or qualm about it. We were the inventors of the catamaran and the constant flame lamp and so many other inventions. Do you know that a Tamil invented the free energy phenomena? So with all these cleverness and astuteness why are we divided? Competition is different from division. So we must not be confused. There is no need to go into details but you know the biggest challenge the Tamils face is not aggression from barbarians, but lack of unity among us. So I have decided to give every Tamil a gift, gift that will improve our overall standing in the world community, prosperity and survivability. Every beehive needs a queen; we need leader who can hold us together. The leader must be able to bring all diverse ideas and cross-fertilize them into to each faction for combined improvement. Today leaders are written proclamations, these are alive; we commit and obey to a written set of proclamations called articles of association or a constitution. Here are a few proclamations. Though we are educated we are less experienced. Education combined with experience makes us confident people.
1. ALWAYS STAND UNITED
Unity is strength and strength in unity. Every Tamil must be united under any condition. It is the survival technique. The power of unity has to be comprehended exponentially and geometrically. One plus one is not two, much more than two! So by staying united we generate enormous amount of power. Power to sustain our great culture and heritage. There is a great need for us to get united and stay united. Please don’t complain but explain to your fellow Tamil the concept unity and strength. If ten pigeons through unison were able to escape the snare by the hunter why cannot we escape our grip of our selfishness and greed?
2. ALWAYS ASSIST
We are not all born with either equal talent or do we have identical talents, but we are all talented. Our culture insists on perfection, which is attainable and admirable. Once I was asked which is the greatest, harnessing the power of the universe or harnessing the universe is power. You know the answer. We educate our children, we culture them well and we make them to work diligently. I have worked with other cultures but there is one character that is outstanding in a Tamil. Loyalty. This is something that is hard for other cultures to understand. But we have it! Aren’t you proud that you are a Tamil? With this greatness why are we divided? Is it for money or for fame? Whatever you earn is for your children, it does not matter good or bad. So assist another Tamil in need. We are divided because we lack trust. Loyalty is great but trust is the greatest!
3. ALWAYS STAND
Always stand up for your cause. You will wither away if you have no identity. Every one has culture with which they identify themselves. You are a Tamil, one of the oldest cultures in the universe. Money can be earned, education can learned but once you lose your culture you are a sheep without a Shepard. Culture is not something you can learn, it is thousand of years of refinement, and it has to come from generation after generation of refinement. A culture is a time-tested system. You cannot just throw it away.
4. EDUCATE MY FELLOW TAMIL
As you aware there is a planned genocide going on in our motherland. We have been taken from our mother’s womb and thrown into disarray, why? Because we are not united. Do not blame anyone, blame yourself, and blame us. We are the cause of our own destruction, dispersal and Diaspora. Always remember the worst animal is a human animal because it has the ability to think.
5. SERVICE
Ask yourself what have I done to my community lately? Did you help an innocent caught in the snare? Snare of ignorance. Have you collected any donation for the hospital or for some social event? Did you ever donate a dime for the needy? Have you ever helped a desperate person on the street? Have you helped a child to cross the street? Failing all what did you do today to make your life better? When you make it better for yourself you make is better for all. Sounds philosophical, no sir, it has the universal law kicks in and bring forth goodness for all. So at least do something good for yourself.
6. HELP EACH OTHER AND THE COMMUNITY
When two of us whole-heartedly work together there is scintillation. We are not all knowing and all capable. We are all created equally but differently hence I teach you what I know, you teach me what you know and we have produced four from two. You had one I gave you one so I got two, then I gave you one and you had one so you got two. Two plus two is four. That is not rocket science! So always help each other and learn from each other. So if you take the whole community of people you have created a chain reaction of exponential out burst of creativity.
7. TRUST
What is trust? It is the ability to rely on some one. Trust is like a bank account, we call it moral trust account. There are two sides to it. A debit and A credit. Trustworthiness and trustfulness. How trustworthy are you? How trustful are you? If you are trustworthy then you are trustful. You are trustworthy to the extent you are trustful; one cannot exist without the other. Trust is responsibility, a huge task. One has to behave responsibly is their affairs. Always remember never to betray ones trust in you, it is a sacred faith. Great nations and great cultures and civilizations have great capacity for Trust. Tamils must learn to trust each other and others. Trust is double entry moral account when you give you don’t lose you gain something else and the book is balanced at every act and deed.
8. DISPEL FEAR
I understand fear and the source of fear. Fear is the most important state of mind we have to overcome. Fear of life, fear of loss, fear of disgrace etc. Fear is a residual effect of the jungle path where we saw how animals sought food; Food to survive.
In modern democracies fear has been taken away and replaced by security hence a child can live fear free from an abusive parent or women from an abusive husband or a worker can perform his duty without the fear of an abusive boss, or a citizen can live fear free from an abusive government. How do you dispel fear? Just ask the question what is the worst that could happen to me? If it is loss of life or loss of health, yes I have to be prudent. Loss of money, religion, language, culture, I can always get it back. Be ready accept a little bruise to your ego. Loss of ego, that is good for you.
9. CONFLICT OF INTEREST
In my dealings with my people I will always resolve any conflicts through dialogue and discussion. I will never undermine my own people for it will undermine the whole community and me. Conflicts are merely difference in opinion or relative understanding about the issue hence through genuine dialogue we can arrive at absolute solutions. There is no room for emotions. Conflicts are a source to growth not a source to violence. Violence has no place in modern society.
10. CONTRIBUTE
I will contribute my knowledge and what ever assets I can to the development of my people. It is the combined total knowledge of the individuals past and present that brought society to this level of attainment. Therefore the contribution of each member of the community is important. It can be selfish or selfless but as long as it is not destructive. Individual greed may not be good in the initial stages but beyond a certain level all greed benefits the society. A man in his selfish greed may create, discover or invent something that will permeate the nooks and corners of even the remotest part of the society.
11. NEVER EVER BETRAY
Trust is a sacred gift given to all of us. Therefore when some one trusts you with a property, person or position maintain it as a sacred possession. Ever since man left the cave and wandered the jungle he was apprehensive of the challenges he faced. Trust was a very rare commodity! But through ages and years of struggle and experience we have developed certain amount of trust but not absolute trust. There are in these world societies with low level of trust and societies with high levels of trust. The trust level has a bearing on relative peace and harmony and hence on economic prosperity.
12. MAKE A VOCATION
A vocation is a must for every one. As a Tamil you are not going to be an indolent, laggard or lazy. You will always seek a vocation even it is a volunteer service. We set an example and pathways for our generations to come by we take our own pathway to prosperity. I know that the cause of social strife is due to lack and poverty. There are many countries and societies caught up in this struggle to identify the cause of social disharmony. The kings with the sword and priest have fooled mankind with superstition for a long time. Man was conditioned to become racial, religiously fanatic and linguistically monotypic, thus forgetting the very purpose of life. The first requirement of life is food. How stupid we can get by killing ourselves for external nonessentials such as race, religion and language. Therefore do not stray from the first purpose of life is to put food on the table. If you don’t agree all you have to do is to go for one day without any food and your brain will shift from you head to the stomach. If you still don’t believe go on without food till you feel the need.
Go to work every day and all your problems will disappear.
13. COMMUNICATE
I shall at all times communicate with every man, woman and child in my and any community with respect and equality. I understand the importance of open communication with my community and other communities. I will make every effort to protect those naïve and innocent people from being abused by the insecure and the inferior. Control and manipulation are the behaviour of the insecure, the ignorant and the inferior. It is my duty to inform the naïve and nasty that negative behaviour is the manifestations of insecurity and the best way to overcome insecurity is through open communication, transparency and thorough understanding.
14. EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN AND YOURSELF
Life is an education in progress, school education is different. It merely introduces you to knowledge and mostly to get job. Continuous improvement should be the standard. Ultimately how much you know is much more important than whom you know.
Besides knowledge, experience and hence wisdom is portable, it goes where you go and also increases as you give it out. More you give more you get, that is called cornucopia.
15. SEE FIVE GENERATION
Longer you live better your family will do and hence your community. There is a saying that a man must see 5 generation. Great grandparent, Grandparent, Parent, Children and Grand children. Longer you live more experience you retain and more you future generation benefit. They say first 30 years you learn, next thirty years you experiment, next thirty years you live. So a man must live through at least 3 generation.
16. REMEMBER
I will always remember how some selected community of people treated my community and me. We as a community were abused, chased, property looted or misappropriated and were made orphans, destitute and refugees in our own motherland. We were targeted and systematically discriminated and then finally forced to leave our motherland. Our homes, farms and factories were destroyed to deny us any economic well-being. Our heritages, libraries and schools were bombed and destroyed. We were called terrorists when we were merely trying to protect our lives and livelihood. I will ensure that this will never happen to us and we also will not deny any other community of their rights to life.
17. DEVELOP
Develop your faculties, develop your capabilities, and develop all that is needed to make you a fully formed person. Continuously engage in life giving activity, do not learn to cheat, steal or misappropriate. You are as capable as another so why steal or cheat, why not share what you have for what you don’t have? It is a bargain. The modern society depends on it and function on it we call it trade.
18. PEACE AND HARMONY
Peace and Harmony are two powerful resources. There is enormous power when one is peaceful and harmonious. Our mind, brain and body function very profitably when
they are at peace with each other. I will always seek a peaceful means to end an impasse. I understand that in my own self-interest I yield to my enemy for if I waste my energy on countering the enemy our creativity is compromised. There are no enemies in this universe.
19. DETERENCE
Though I am willing to negotiate, share and live in harmony, I shall not negotiate out of fear or as a vindicated, but at times I may do so as an act of prudence. I will maintain enough deterrence Intellectually, Economically, and Socially to negotiate to a mutually beneficial outcome. All conflicts and confrontations are the result of fear, envy, anger, self-righteousness, inferiority, superiority and false beliefs. Therefore I will continuously continue to enter into dialogue and discussion with my apparent and perceived enemy, I do not have enemies.
20. .SOCIAL CAPITAL
What is social capital? Social capital is the resource generated as a result of unity. How many times you would have experienced that one plus one is more than two. Numbers were invented keep score not to quantify human association. Larger the number higher the social capital score will be. Our prosperity depends on a social capital trust. We can achieve tremendous results as a result of communion. Have you noticed when people are on a fully agreed endeavour there are outbursts of creative defying the established laws of mathematics and physics?
21. POLITICAL CAPITAL
What is political capital? Simple when you raise an issue by yourself not much attention is given. It is discounted as a one-person selfish motive, but when a community of people raise and issue, it got power. This is again political capital trust. We have to identify our political needs and arrive at a unanimous decision, which will have tremendous implications positively. Every person must give in his or her personal selfish motives to a common body and create a body politic which will give out more rights and power than you give in. This again defies the known laws of mathematics. It functions exponentially.
22. MIND YOUR HEALTH
Health is the ultimate wealth. If you don’t have good health you cannot participate in life. Take cars of it. The modern medicine has extended our life span beyond 100 years. So plan your life for 100 years or more.
23 LEAVE A LEGACY
We are all created equally but differently. So each of us have some inherent gift given to us by the universe, our parents. So then each of us are capable of marvelous creations, inventions and discoveries, which we can give to the society at large. What have you done to your people? How have you enriched your people? Your foreparents left an excellent world behind for you to live a peaceful and harmonious life, and then what are you hoping to leave behind. Be conscious about your world and be courteous to it.
24. DEVELOP DETERRENCE
Today small group of people can be subdued easily either by force or by majority. So, as a Tamil you must develop your intellect, your economic capability your moral standards. Like Luxmi and Saraswathy you must develop and improve your wealth and wisdom. One without other will never survive. When you are intellectually and financially strong you can protect your community.
25. DEVELOP KNOWLEDGE
I wrote once more you know, more you know how little you know. How true is it? Once the head of the patents and copy right office told that what ever has to be invented has been invented. I think that was in the 19th century. Since then we have invented Electricity, Computers, memory chips, cure for many diseases, airplane etc. Therefore there is no end to knowledge and creations, inventions and discoveries. There are many more things to invent and discover, one of them is free energy, somewhere in the universe there is free energy and all we have to do is to discover it. A political means whereby all people are equal is some thing we have to create.
As we pass on the mantle it is the people coming after us have to carry forward the world. Do not destroy it! I have known a handful of educated destroyers of society don’t be one of them.
26. LEAD THE NEXT GENERATION
There is new thinking that lets enjoy life for we will be dead tomorrow. You may be dead but the world will go on. But then where did you get the means to enjoy your life? Your parents left it for you, so what are you going to leave for your children. If you don’t, you will be reborn to pay for your sins. How does that principle sound to you? We call it Karma or the law of retribution. So get down to nation building and social, economic and political infrastructure building, you may get lucky to enjoy your own efforts in this life!
27. CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS AN INVINCIBLE WEAPON.
Please remember that when you were created you were given a set of basic principles to live by. You are born good but transformed by nature and surroundings. There is saying called let you conscience be your own judge. You know what is good, what is bad and what is ugly. No one has to tell you, you know it from inside. A simple example is littering, you know it is bad then why do you do it? Another simple example is if you steal it is wrong, then why do you do it? You know the problem is the one who lost is lost for once but you have to carry the burden of guilt forever!
Never ever knowingly do any bad to any one, if by innocence you have done it, say I made a mistake ask for forgiveness and proceed with your life. I do not carry it in your mind forever!
These are some of the commitments I live by, if you know some that I have omitted please add them on and pass it on to others. We have an urgent need to do this to preserve our identity otherwise we will become extinct instead of distinguished. We will just be another remark in history! Therefore I urgently and earnestly request every Tamil to come together and build our culture and heritage worldwide. We must not do this at the expense any other culture but must extend our greatness to other cultures.
28. INVENT
We all know Late Sir Albert Einstein. Jewish people are today living in the safety one man invented for them. For 2500 years Jewish people wandered all over the world for being honest hard working people. It always happens to the people who stick out as outstanding. As they say the nail that hammered is the one that stands out. When the Indian military came to Jaffna they could not believe that we had stone built homes, own water supply and excellent schools. We did not steal from others; we built them with our own effort and ingenuity. We invented the sea going catamaran some ten thousand years ago. We will be the one who will invent the phenomenon of free energy. Encourage your children to be inventive and one day some day
the next Einstein may come.
Children, source of family happiness...!!!
Children, source of family happiness
by Amal HEWAVISSENTI
Today's family institution is beset with the problem as to what should be given the top priority; children and their needs or marital unity and happiness?
Many people labour under the mistaken belief that giving priority to children's needs amounts to almost forgetting the duties of married life. However, a sound marriage relationship will only illuminate the child's world and build-up an unfailing personality and self-confidence in the child. Therefore, the parental success is sure to guarantee the first practical step towards better upbringing and welfare of the children. But where are the modern families heading for?
Though we love our children and regard them as our treasure it is too strange to hear that their problems spoil, to some extent the happiness and unity which sustains married life. Why do some couples grumble that the happiness of married life begins to leave them from the moment the first baby is born to their nest?
However, it is obvious that with the unbearable volumes of responsibilities towards their children devolving upon them many a married couple finds their relationship fall apart gradually. This happens simply because a husband or wife naturally channels his or her emotions, love and concern towards the child apart from his or her concerns for the partner. It may increase the feelings of jealousy and a sense of non-recognition.
Relationships under change?
Prasanna (43) who is married for 6 years, says "I have planned to see a film and have our dinner out in a hotel. But the problem remains with our baby to be left to the care of a relative. To speak my heart out, I haven't got any chance to go out with my wife and enjoy ever since our first baby was born about three years ago. However, my wife strongly protests that our child should not be left to the care of an outsider though she is a relative of ours. I really find something unpleasant in her attitudes towards me. I don't approve of her behaviour towards me. Now she is more toward our baby than to me. I feel that the very basis of our marriage is cracking". This acknowledgement of personal experience clearly reflects the impact the children's problems on the success of family life. This is purely psychological. It is proved that comparatively inexperienced parents often get trapped in this difficult situation of marital life, just after having children.
Freedom for children - Problems for parents
Some parents infuse their children with high expectations of life but are backward in fulfilling needs that may sound simple but urgent. At the same time there are parents who have a good understanding of the needs of their children and practically fulfill them without leaving room for the confidence to collapse. Experience in Family life has shown that a child's needs, and behavioural patterns have become instrumental in undermining their parents mutual relationship. Once a couple was highly worried about their 11 year old bright daughter who suddenly showed a marked setback in her studies. Her mother wanted to bring her back to normalcy after remedying her strange ways and giving her a sound counselling to enable her to build up self-reliance. On the contrary, her father wanted to take tough action against her behaviour.
The end result was that the husband frowned at his wife's attempts to guard their daughter against the increasing harassment by him.
Such an atmosphere at home inevitably aggravates a child's problems and damages the mild relationship between husband and wife.
In another case, Shaman, an eleven year old boy had the habit of buying fragile but attractive toys from the pocket money his father gave him in the morning. Whatever he bought he undid it to checkout its inner mechanism!
When the father got to know this, he took Shaman to task and said he would stop giving pocket money to him.
Suddenly the parents were faced the bitter truth that they were living a life more of differences than happiness and mutual understanding. The father's argument was that his son would not learn the value of hard-earned money if he were to be given it for the mere asking. Such problems at these that involve economic management of a family may give rise to family splits which affects the future of children.
Can it disrupt married life
Unpleasant situations arising from the activities and behavioral patterns of children have an ill effect on both children and their parents. A mother burdened with the task of keeping family harmony once complained that her husband was continually troubling her due to her attitude towards the 10 year old daughter. She said whenever she found fault with the daughter's wrong behaviour, her husband became aggressive towards her. Ultimately she had to take recourse to a third party intervention to solve the crisis because it posed a threat to the family unity. But intelligent and foresighted parents take special care not to disturb their family life because of minor discord over their children.
Unfortunately some married people tent to unleash their negative personal moods on their parents and try to escape from the relatives. On the other hand, a husband's behaviour and attitude towards his wife's job might have multiple implications. For example an employed wife might be accused by her husband, of being negligent of their children;
The motive behind this allegation is pretty clear because the husband doesn't like her doing to job. A husband's blaming his wife for returning home late in the evening is shows his strong dislike for her job.
No more problematic
Discerning parents must understand that unwholesome situations arising in their families are natural, to be expected by almost every family. Experts are of opinion that it is obligating for husband and wife to reach mutual agreement in conflict situations created by activities of children. Friendly discussions narrow down family splits.
If a small child alleges that his father is wasteful and if the mother mindlessly approves of it, conflicts are certain to keep the whole family dishevelled. So, a child or his problems should not, in anyway, be used as a cat's paw by the parents to capture "power" in the family.
A husband or a wife should not adapt themselves to suit the unnecessary demands or behaviour of their children. Instead, they should attach some significance and recognition to their grown up children's views on how to keep up the economic management, of the family. Discussions among the members of the family on issues pertaining to their progress is perhaps the most convincing solution for family crises.
Parents must not have serious, arguments or verbal exchanges before their children over problematic situations arising from children themselves.
Children feel guilty of being the cause for any family tragedy, they are likely to sink into mental depression and develop long lasting defects of personality. It is difficult to draw a district line between the father's or mother's responsibilities to maintaining the family. Both have equal responsibilities in the family institution to keep up the marriage relationships and fulfil their duties towards the children.
Finally it is most important to remember if the parents have family discords or conflicts and if they are not concerned about solving them their children would invariably fall victim to tragedies.
SUNDAYOBSERVER.LK
by Amal HEWAVISSENTI
Today's family institution is beset with the problem as to what should be given the top priority; children and their needs or marital unity and happiness?
Many people labour under the mistaken belief that giving priority to children's needs amounts to almost forgetting the duties of married life. However, a sound marriage relationship will only illuminate the child's world and build-up an unfailing personality and self-confidence in the child. Therefore, the parental success is sure to guarantee the first practical step towards better upbringing and welfare of the children. But where are the modern families heading for?
Though we love our children and regard them as our treasure it is too strange to hear that their problems spoil, to some extent the happiness and unity which sustains married life. Why do some couples grumble that the happiness of married life begins to leave them from the moment the first baby is born to their nest?
However, it is obvious that with the unbearable volumes of responsibilities towards their children devolving upon them many a married couple finds their relationship fall apart gradually. This happens simply because a husband or wife naturally channels his or her emotions, love and concern towards the child apart from his or her concerns for the partner. It may increase the feelings of jealousy and a sense of non-recognition.
Relationships under change?
Prasanna (43) who is married for 6 years, says "I have planned to see a film and have our dinner out in a hotel. But the problem remains with our baby to be left to the care of a relative. To speak my heart out, I haven't got any chance to go out with my wife and enjoy ever since our first baby was born about three years ago. However, my wife strongly protests that our child should not be left to the care of an outsider though she is a relative of ours. I really find something unpleasant in her attitudes towards me. I don't approve of her behaviour towards me. Now she is more toward our baby than to me. I feel that the very basis of our marriage is cracking". This acknowledgement of personal experience clearly reflects the impact the children's problems on the success of family life. This is purely psychological. It is proved that comparatively inexperienced parents often get trapped in this difficult situation of marital life, just after having children.
Freedom for children - Problems for parents
Some parents infuse their children with high expectations of life but are backward in fulfilling needs that may sound simple but urgent. At the same time there are parents who have a good understanding of the needs of their children and practically fulfill them without leaving room for the confidence to collapse. Experience in Family life has shown that a child's needs, and behavioural patterns have become instrumental in undermining their parents mutual relationship. Once a couple was highly worried about their 11 year old bright daughter who suddenly showed a marked setback in her studies. Her mother wanted to bring her back to normalcy after remedying her strange ways and giving her a sound counselling to enable her to build up self-reliance. On the contrary, her father wanted to take tough action against her behaviour.
The end result was that the husband frowned at his wife's attempts to guard their daughter against the increasing harassment by him.
Such an atmosphere at home inevitably aggravates a child's problems and damages the mild relationship between husband and wife.
In another case, Shaman, an eleven year old boy had the habit of buying fragile but attractive toys from the pocket money his father gave him in the morning. Whatever he bought he undid it to checkout its inner mechanism!
When the father got to know this, he took Shaman to task and said he would stop giving pocket money to him.
Suddenly the parents were faced the bitter truth that they were living a life more of differences than happiness and mutual understanding. The father's argument was that his son would not learn the value of hard-earned money if he were to be given it for the mere asking. Such problems at these that involve economic management of a family may give rise to family splits which affects the future of children.
Can it disrupt married life
Unpleasant situations arising from the activities and behavioral patterns of children have an ill effect on both children and their parents. A mother burdened with the task of keeping family harmony once complained that her husband was continually troubling her due to her attitude towards the 10 year old daughter. She said whenever she found fault with the daughter's wrong behaviour, her husband became aggressive towards her. Ultimately she had to take recourse to a third party intervention to solve the crisis because it posed a threat to the family unity. But intelligent and foresighted parents take special care not to disturb their family life because of minor discord over their children.
Unfortunately some married people tent to unleash their negative personal moods on their parents and try to escape from the relatives. On the other hand, a husband's behaviour and attitude towards his wife's job might have multiple implications. For example an employed wife might be accused by her husband, of being negligent of their children;
The motive behind this allegation is pretty clear because the husband doesn't like her doing to job. A husband's blaming his wife for returning home late in the evening is shows his strong dislike for her job.
No more problematic
Discerning parents must understand that unwholesome situations arising in their families are natural, to be expected by almost every family. Experts are of opinion that it is obligating for husband and wife to reach mutual agreement in conflict situations created by activities of children. Friendly discussions narrow down family splits.
If a small child alleges that his father is wasteful and if the mother mindlessly approves of it, conflicts are certain to keep the whole family dishevelled. So, a child or his problems should not, in anyway, be used as a cat's paw by the parents to capture "power" in the family.
A husband or a wife should not adapt themselves to suit the unnecessary demands or behaviour of their children. Instead, they should attach some significance and recognition to their grown up children's views on how to keep up the economic management, of the family. Discussions among the members of the family on issues pertaining to their progress is perhaps the most convincing solution for family crises.
Parents must not have serious, arguments or verbal exchanges before their children over problematic situations arising from children themselves.
Children feel guilty of being the cause for any family tragedy, they are likely to sink into mental depression and develop long lasting defects of personality. It is difficult to draw a district line between the father's or mother's responsibilities to maintaining the family. Both have equal responsibilities in the family institution to keep up the marriage relationships and fulfil their duties towards the children.
Finally it is most important to remember if the parents have family discords or conflicts and if they are not concerned about solving them their children would invariably fall victim to tragedies.
SUNDAYOBSERVER.LK
Thursday, May 13, 2010
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